I dreamed of self-independence to escape from the house rules, 
To abscond from the voice with repetitive dialogue. 
Covet the freedom of making decisions from breakfast to midnight snacks,
At a young age, I think I mastered the art of pretending.

The memories of a careless child came into my mind, 
The way he sang an almost wish during the night,
Oh, sweet child, what have you done? 
We cannot trade time for it will be a waste. 

Raining questions of doubt flood my thoughts, 
One of them is where I can find bread and butter. 
Colored papers I keep slowly fading from my hands,
Oh, what can I do to hold more of you? 

Waking up doing the same thing and eating almost the same meal, 
I’m full of desperation to get out of this madness and;
Hungry enough to find the light at the end of the tunnel.
I wonder how long this will lasts? 

I spend nights alone drowning in deep thinking, 
Wondering what kind of future awaits outside my walls.
Now I have no choice left but to get out of my comfort bubble, 
And be friends with a time that finally arrived. 

-Ella Meriel C. Merin

(Illustration by Alexandra Lim/FEU Advocate)